On the Edge
Originally published 10/9/2020. See new comments after original post.
This is a writing sprint. Please excuse spelling and grammatical errors.
On the verge, precipice…whatever seems good. i thought about this early this morning as I was considering what i may write about today. in doing so, i reaklized how much i am enjoying these spriunt exercises, and think I am going to make them not only a part of daily routine but a regular part of this blog. for thjose sprints where I think there may be more to say, I will clean them up to be turned into a more proper post. In thinking about that process, I wondered why I was to this point the type or writer who could not just write…and not worry about editing along the way. It wis highly irregular for me to write and then continue writing without going back and fixing spelling or grammar along the way, or even totally reqriting sentences because i didn’t like the way it read. It made me start wondering why I was really like that, which led me to a bit of a realization. I grew up with an abusive step-mother and one of the things i learned early on was how if I monitor what i am saying i could alleviate some of the anger and lashing out. soa good portion of my childhood, and my whole life really, has been spent still following this same early practice. thinking about the situation i am in and how what i say can affect those around me, more psecifically their perception about me and how they feel, with that special emphasis on being most cautious to not say anythig which may make them angry.
it is just amazing how your parents can affect not only your childhood but your years well beyond them. i suppose this is a way that writing is very theraputic for me and i cannot be happier to have made this reaekization.
I feel like I started using this 5 minute format such a long time ago now, though revisiting old posts like this make me realize how little time has passed.
At the time of this writing, I also knew, as I had for years, I needed to have a day of reckoning with my step mother. I never imagined it would actually happen two months later.